and it just won't stop
Published on November 9, 2004 By Different Hanja In Blogging

     We spent the next few years just being a family.  It was great, and I miss that feeling of connection.  My unit treated Chong Mi and I like we were married, although we had both decided long ago to simply enjoy our time together and that when it was time for me to go back to the U.S. things would end.  We told each other that lie for a long time, I'm not sure if either of us believed it, but it did keep us from having to make any decisions on the matter!  It was to the point that if one of the flights I was on ended up being diverted due to weather or other unforeseen reasons our Operations Center would call and tell her that her "husband" would be late getting home, and when I finally got a chance to call she invariably knew already.  We always thought it was funny that the unit treated us that way, but now I can understand why.  We were as devoted to each other as any married couple I have ever known, and more than many.  For those who knew us, I have never heard anyone say that we were not right together, we completed each other. 
     Regardless of how often we told each other that one marriage had been enough (we had both had rough first marriages), or how we were not interested in getting hurt again, K changed all of this.  It truly was our daughter that brought out the family in us.  Before K came to live with us, we had been pretty free spirited, both somewhat independent, and able to pretty much lead whatever lifestyle we wanted.  K brought it all together and I am thankful for that, although I wish for her sake it had been under different circumstances.  K attached herself to me from the beginning.  I wasn't sure how to react to this as it had been a long time since I had spent any time around children.  I don't normally like young kids, and avoid them if possible.  I'm always afraid they will ask me something that their parents won't tell them!  She wore away at my defenses and eventually won me over.  This didn't take as long as it sounds, but I played it off for a while! 
     It wasn't too long before K started asking why we weren't married, and when would we be getting married.  I swear, she sounded like a mother frantically pushing for grandkids!  I tried, rather unsuccessfully, to explain our philosophy.  Kids are pretty good with their new fangled BS detectors.  After she had cornered us each separately, and planted the seed, the idea began to take root.  Damn it!  This is not what I was looking for!  (Of course it was, but I wouldn't admit that, now would I?)  Basically, we decided to agree to consider it, just to get K off our collective backs.  We put off the decision for a while longer, there didn't seem to be any pressing need to deal with this, I wasn't leaving any time soon, besides, I planned to continue to extend at this unit until they wouldn't let me any longer.  Little did I know that just such an eventuality was shortly to be come reality!  That story next!


    


Comments
on Nov 09, 2004
You are a softy at heart. I know it, you know it, and everyone here knows it. Don't try to deny it.

Good post. It was always obvious to us that you would get married. We just had to wait for you to get out of denial.
on Nov 09, 2004
It was always obvious to us that you would get married.


A little warning for the both of us would have been nice!


Just kidding, I've never denied my denial. I only wish we hadn't been so stubborn and had gotten married sooner!
on Nov 10, 2004
I only wish we hadn't been so stubborn and had gotten married sooner!


We wished the same.
on Nov 10, 2004
DH, It is useless to live with regret. It serves no purpose. You came through for your family. That is the important thing. Your story truly reveals...You are a softy. Be proud of that. Hurry with the next part, please!
on Feb 17, 2005
You avoid little kids, eh? So, THAT'S why you haven't met your nephew yet! Just kidding...I know how difficult traveling's been for you the last few years! I swear, he looks so much like you that if you were here, people might think there'd been some incest in our family! (Of course, there hasn't, for you other readers....) He keeps thinking that the pictures mom has of you when you were younger are him! It's really funny, because he gets mad when I tell him that those picures aren't his! It's kind of like that time you saw a picture on my wall in a collage and got mad at me when you said she was hot and it turned out to be me! Remember that?!
on Feb 17, 2005
PS - I've gotten to spend a lot of time over the last six months with K and I have to tell you, that girl is definitely one of a kind! Of course, spending several years with you wouldn't have much to do with that, would it?! Love you...