So much closer now....
Published on January 5, 2005 By Different Hanja In Blogging

Once again I need to apologize for not writing for a while.  After writing the last part it was difficult to put myself through remembering the circumstances of our first trip to the hospital in Suwon.  I will try my best to fill in the rest of this story in short order and finish this difficult tale so that I can move on to better and more entertaining posts.  Everyday I think of something I’d like to blog about, but for now you are stuck with this.

 

     Immediately after giving us the diagnosis, and telling us that Chong Mi was stage 4 (terminal, but they didn’t explain that to us at that time) they gave us about 15 minutes to compose ourselves, then carted her downstairs to radiology to start her first radiation therapy session.  The radiologist was awesome, I will certainly never hold anything against her, she did the best she could, and was always positive.  Much to our collective surprise, Chong Mi took to the radiation like it was nothing.  It didn’t faze her at all; even the chemotherapy didn’t bother her much.  She didn’t even lose her hair!  The tumor responded nicely, shrinking away like we were all praying it would.  After about 7 weeks of treatment she was in remission!  This was excellent news, and it got our hopes up to the point that we believed everything would be OK.

     Chong Mi had to go back to the hospital once every three weeks to make sure that it stayed in remission.  On one of these visits they informed us that the tumor had started growing again.  Treatment would have to be resumed.  This time the tumor did not respond as favorably to either the radiation or the chemotherapy.  The doctor decided to use a stronger chemical cocktail to try to kill the tumor.  Chong Mi didn’t handle this nearly as well as she did the milder version.  She eventually lost her hair, but not her good attitude.  She kept her head up and stayed strong throughout the entire ordeal.  I’m sure that those of you who knew her are not at all surprised by this; she was well known and well loved for her attitude.

     The tumor was located between her uterine wall and her bladder.  This was the reason we were told that surgery was not an option.  I can’t explain how frustrating that was to me.  The fact that surgery was not an option was something I simply couldn’t fathom.  Here was a body part that it is not uncommon to go without, yet they are refusing to remove the offensive cesspool of disease.  We already had a daughter; we weren’t planning on having more kids, so just cut it out and let us go on with our lives.  I would much rather have a live wife dealing with hormone therapy than be a 30 year old widower.

     Of course, as it turned out, I had no choice in the matter.  We did the best we could, and she fought bravely while putting on a face that betrayed the pain she was suffering.  I will always remember how strong she was during all this, I will always be proud of her courage.

     Eventually the tumor created a hole between her bladder and uterus through which blood and urine constantly seeped.  The bleeding could not be controlled, and she had to receive transfusions almost daily.  It was at this point that the doctor informed us that there was not much more that they could do to help us.  She would not die from the cancer, but she would eventually bleed to death.  They recommended that we go home, find a local place to receive transfusions, and let her spend what time she had left in comfort.  Yeah, that sounds great, doc.  Fuck You!

    

 


Comments
on Jan 05, 2005
Hanja:
I'm so very sorry for your sorrow and loss.
As much as readint this article was heartbreaking, I think it's good you wrote it.
I hope writing about it helps you in some way.
I wish you love and light......Trudygolightly
on Jan 05, 2005
Again, thanks for sharing. I can't imagine how hard it must be to write about this time in your life and hope that it helps.

I will read everything you write, and am looking forward to all those things that you think about blogging.
on Jan 10, 2005
Thank you for your comments! Xtine, you've always been supportive and I appreciate it. Trudy, I appreciate your well wishes and look forward to reading your blog, been entirely too busy lately. I would have replied sooner, but I was out of town.

on Jan 17, 2005
It is so sad to lose one that is so loved. You have told your story beautifully. Thanks for sharing. It helps us your readers know how you have handled your loss. Loss is part and parcel of life here on earth. Coping with it takes strength that can be gleaned from the support of others who care about you. I care.
on Jan 24, 2005
Wow. Mike, I'm really sorry all of you had to go through that. I can't believe they just sent you guys home and in today's day and age couldn't do anything about it. Fuck You showed quite a bit of restraint I think on your part.

Brings up bad memories for me.

- Gar
on Jan 30, 2005
As I have said before, I only met Chong Mi couple of times (2001). In fact, you probably dont remember me all that well, but I was that one chick that greywar brought to Companion's back in early 2001(..ooh and I went to your house and played that game Worms).She gave me my first thunderfuck. I remember her being very easy to talk to, and she was very sweet. So, my condolences, although, a little late, and the world is desperately in need for more Chong Mis.
on Feb 02, 2005
Sorry I haven't mentioned anything earlier bro. Thanks for sharing all of the story, and I applaud your courage to open up this way. I hope all else is going well for you. We're doing pretty good, and had a surprise call from K a couple of days ago. She's doing well, and Boo-ya makes sure she practices her Korean. See ya later this year bro!
on Oct 25, 2005
I want to offer my condolences. I knew Chong mi back in 1997 i was at camp humphreys ( i got steve oder to start dj'ing at the playboy club ) I always thought very highly of Chong she was always so nice to me. She was the first korean lady that i met when i got there i was so scared to go off post but one day i did go with a couple of others from the barracks ..lo & behold we went to the companion club i dug it right away as i walked down the steps (the big mouth rolling stones sticky fingers) anyway she was so welcoming to this newbie it took all my fears away ...from that point on i just about lived in the 'ville.
reading your blogs brought back so many great memories ... thanks for sharing.